Ponder and Wonder.

Convictions

For the past few days I have been reading a book called Eyes of the Tailless Animals. It’s a memoir of a North Korean woman who wrongfully spent 6 years in North Korea’s prison camps. The tortures and living conditions she endured are unbelievably inhumane and disgusting. I don’t think many people are aware of the actual conditions inside North Korea are, but I can’t help but imagine that when North Korea eventually falls, there is a very real probability that what we will find will be just as bad if not worse than what we found in the Holocaust.

The author was eventually released and defected to China, finding Jesus in the process. In the book she writes on multiple occasions that she was confused why these “heaven people” (North Korean term for Christians) would not just deny a deity other than Kim Il Sung even if it meant gruesome torture and execution. She understands why now.

As I was reading this book, all I could think of was, if the Lord called me to a place like this, could I endure torture and incarceration? I was scared. I didn’t think I could. Then it hit me. Shouldn’t my reaction to reading this be an urgency to bring the Gospel and justice to the people who live in midst of incredible injustice with no hope?

Living in a land of wants instead of needs and where freedom is taken for granted, I instinctively seek for my own safety and comfort instead of seeking to do what I was created to do.

Convictions.
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*You can search Soon Ok Lee to read her testimonies and speeches to the Congress online. 

The Path Home

Yesterday I went for a run at North Cary Park. This particular park is one of the most special and sentimental places for me in the world, not to mention super beautiful at sunset. 

But this time, it was different. It was overcast and gloomy that day (moody North Carolina weather…). As I passed the lake and entered the trail, it honestly looked like I was going into the dangerous dark woods (kinda like in Beauty and the Beast, Papa and Horse are deciding between the “good” and “bad” paths and Papa decides to go through the bad one). Even though it didn’t look like all that great of a trail, because I’ve been there so many times, I knew I could trust it and know that I would find my way through it and back.

Then I thought, this is how the our paths in life can look. Sometimes the path looks beautiful and pleasant while at other times looks foreign and daunting. It’s hard to trust these paths because we haven’t gone through them before. But the truth is, Jesus has. He  walked on this earth, received scorn and shame, endured trials and sufferings, died on the Cross, and came back to life. No matter what the path looks like on the outside, we know for a fact that it will eventually lead us Home. 

Our God wrote each of our days in His book before even one of them came to be. He knows where we are at, where we are going, and where we will ultimately end up. Sometimes we just have to hold on because we know that all things work together for the good of those who love Him and each step takes us closer to our Home.

Easter: He lives!

Why do you seek the living among the dead? (v.5)

We know deep inside that Jesus is alive as much as we are alive today. What does that mean to us? Do we live more like he’s on a vacation and just waiting until he comes back? Yes, there will be a Second Coming who-knows-when but Jesus himself is alive with us now. 

I think what I need to be convicted of most because of this truth is the need for joy in my everyday life. Am I filled with joy in every moment of every day because Christ himself is just as accessible to me now as if he was sitting beside me because of the presence of the Spirit with me?

I can be downcast and have self-pity on myself often for whatever reason and I find myself longing for the day I am reunited with My God, but if my mind dwells on the idea that it’s “just” a waiting period then I am looking for Jesus in the wrong things, I am looking for the living among the dead.

Easter is another promise of God to us, just like the rainbow was to Noah. It’a a promise that we serve a living God and we have victory over all things including death. May we live in this truth not just one day a year but in every waking moment in our lives.

Day 36: Gospel in the Crucifixion (Luke 23:18-43)

This string of events really outlined the story of the Gospel to me, take a look:

1. The people traded Jesus for Barabbas, murderer.
We have traded the life God offers us in him for a life of temporary treasures - an outcome of our sinful nature. How often do I cut short or completely skip over spending time with the Lord but spend hours upon hours on facebook or youtube?

2. “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”
God saw us in our helpless state. He knew that we could not bridge the gap between us and him on our own power. This was especially convicting to me, how I think that I know it all and am a “good christian” when it is only Christ’s blood that reconciles me to him and I am merely a silly sheep.

3. “Today you will be with me in Paradise.”
The second robber crucified alongside Jesus, and it is at the threshold of death he realizes he is a sinner and is in need of a savior. It wasn’t too late for him and it’s never too late for us to return to Jesus. God’s invitation is always open for those who repent of their sins and surrender their lives to him.

Good Friday it is indeed.

Day 35: Darkness (Luke 22:47-54)

But this is your hour, and the power of darkness. (v. 53)

This passage has so many themes it’s a little bit ridiculous but I’ll focus on one here.

Darkness. 

In darkness, others cannot see who you are or what you are doing. Because of this, we do things we normally would not do in the light. Judas and company came to arrest Jesus at night because they were afraid of what people might do if they arrested him during the day in public. They knew what they were doing was wrong.

Good Friday should focus on our repenting of sins because it was those very sins that nailed Jesus to the cross. Do you have any sins that you commit only in the dark? If so, bring it out into the light of Christ because there is nothing too dark for him to conquer.

Day 34: Luke 22:31-35

Before telling Peter that he will betray Jesus three times, Jesus tells him that he has prayed that his faith would not fall, and encourages him to strengthen his brothers.

We know that as long as we live on earth and still are sinful, that we will hurt others and other will hurt us. This should push us even more to pray for others and encourage them, because this will show that we know these things don’t come from us but from above.

Day 32: Luke 21:1-4

This passage points us to be humble in our giving, and that it is sacrificial giving from the heart that really matters. The words that stick out to me are that she “out of her poverty” gave all that she had.

My parents are one of the most giving people in the world and I am glad to have witnessed that and know it is good to give to those in need. But even not just in monetary giving, I wonder what areas of my life am I “in poverty” and it would be a sacrifice to give. At Duke, the obvious one was time. No one ever had spare time but that’s what made it so special to care and be cared for by others.

For me, I think the hardest one to give consistently to people is prayer, even though this is probably the most crucial. How can I pray for other people when I myself don’t even have a consistent prayer life? A sermon I heard last week emphasized the lack of prayer isn’t a self-discipline problem but a Gospel problem; I don’t realize the need for Jesus in my life enough. I want to fully realize the dire need of a Saviour my soul needs and seeks.

Father, break me of myself and mold me.

Day 31: Luke 20:27-40

Now he is not God of the dead, but of the living, for all live to him. (v.38)

This particular verse accentuates for me our separation and reconciliation to God through our spiritual lives. We are alive right now physically, but our spiritual lives are an entirely different story. If God is outside of time, we are as good as dead physically already, but it is our spiritual state of being that determines whether we are alive or dead in Christ. 

Convicts me of how I place my physical, mental, and emotional hungers above my spiritual ones.